Kali Devors the Empire

I am traveling across Europe and kept one of my part time jobs, seeing patients over zoom. I do the medical portion in addiction medicine. I listen, advise and prescribe if necessary. Yesterday, the young woman I saw was with the same story of sexual abuse, childhood neglect, chronic pain and insomnia. This weighs on me, the years of listening. The stories are part of the reason I flee from my career. 

As I travel. The mask of my work cracks further, I can step back from the burnout. My moral code revolts at working for the empire, as I suit up in my modern Storm Trooper office wear and stethoscope. I work for the empire as I get paid well for comfort, but the price is to silence victims.  I travel in Europe I am getting this perspective of distance, an understanding of the weaving of empire. 

Yes, just like Star Wars. This subtle influence of empires. That do not affect me in an everyday way. I wonder, did Luke Skywalker feel the empire? He felt only the injustice of the local stormtroopers. Today, we feel the empire in bureaucracy, rules and algorithms.  I feel today’s empire- the Medical- Industrial Empire, when I do not prescribe drugs as recommended. 

I have been a priest of  Medical- Industrial Empire for over 25 years. I know the language of medications, diagnoses, algorithms  and dismissal of pain. The limits of healing in this empire are many. I have not found pharmacopeia effective in treating anyones underlying symptoms. There is still the trauma, wounding and loneliness. This Trauma erupts and we carry our wounded everywhere in the States. The madman screaming on the streets, the streets lined with homeless.

I look out the window as we take the train across Europe and see the churches. The symbol of the last empire that has just begun to fade into the medical-industrial complex empire. Every town, I go by has its white steepled church- no matter how small, maybe there is only one house, and there is still the large church. They dot the landscape- beautiful objects of serenity. The reminder that empire has worn many costumes. 

Churches are the home for artisans to paint, make stained glass, mosaic and carve. I am in awe of the rainbow of light when I stood in cathedral in Prague. The artisans were employed by the empire in either the church or by the monarchy, another branch of the same empire. Even when a king like Henry 8 or Gustav of Sweden took over the church, they were still yoked by the empire. As we all still feel that yoke on our backs today. Artisans built cathedrals of stone, now engineers build cathedrals of data, both serving this same empire. 

The current empire is rational. It is medicine- technology and social media. The format has changed. It was holy water- now it’s a diagnoses, it was confessionals- now it’s therapy. Magical relics have given way to pills. It is the same mechanism- find the victim, instill obedience and promise that relief. 

Empire is not in the laps of the Christian or even Muslim empire. As before monothesim took hold, there was Rome. And before Rome was Alexander the ambitious (great is not a word I would use). There was Persia, and before Persia there the multiple horse raiding warriors conquering local neighboring villages. 

Each village was a home of gods, stories, family. Razed, their cosmologies were folded into the conqueror’s tongue. In here, is my patient with her complex trauma. We are nestled into conquerors >>> conquered and the the conquered rise and become conquerors. My patient, rising angry raging at her father. The empire feeds on this cycle. 

In Hindy thought, there is the philosophy we are in the dark ages, of Kali Yuga. Yoga and Tantra carry this philosophy, that we live in the anti enlightenment. It would not be hard to convince you, that in general this world is a victim of greed, rage, materialism, victimization and meaningless rituals dominate our world view. It seems fair, that is what we are living, kindness feels rare. While, shallowness feels rampant. I have to recall what Kali means, she is the goddess of destruction  with her great mouth she swallows demons. She dances on the dead. She is the destroyer. 

Kali dances within this world of rage. She is terrifying- but essential. The glaciers have melted, the pollution chokes our children, the earth has been ripped open in copper mines. It is chaos and here she devours  this pattern, as how we live demands to be devoured. She will swallow us all.  Her destruction is the song of the phoenix, we must burn to rise again. She is not the end- she offers liberation. 

Empires runs on what is broken. On trauma and our deep wounds. This empire wounds and victims adapt and may become conquerors themselves. My patient is the human representation of another razed village. I am asked to bless her, confess her sins and prescribe her medications. To keep her silent and submitting to the church. 

I confess, I am a lousy priest. I feel my heresy will be noticed by another cleric and I will be forced out. I refuse follow the rules of this empire. I will not prescribe. I tell the young woman, Meditate, breathe, you are a hero shining in your own story. It is not just her story, but the wound of all those razed villages, this pain the empire feeds on. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you.”  She is not a diagnosis, but a radiant hero, shining as she falls into Kali’s waiting mouth. She does burn- but with an untouched radiance.